what is right comes from my left

i adore ani difranco. her musicality, poetry, her entirety...it's just amazing. she inspires me like no one else. if you'd like an example: go to "little plastic castle" song, "pulse" it's playing now, like the backdrop to my song. like a request to the universe for the one that i would 'offer you my pulse, give you my breath.' you see, i know how to give, and i give so much, to the soul family of friends, to my blood family, to the lovers that i see so much potential in. i see so much potential, and i go about coaching, goading the lover, insistent in my mind that i will see the bud blossom, i will bask in its beauty, just as i do when the sun hits me as i walk from shadow. i freeze it the sunlight, close my eyes, and let it warrrrrm my skin, feed my heart. my lover is not the sun. but has the potential to be one. we all do, really. what i am worried mostly about is that depression will flatten him. what i am invisioning is that this change will inspire his own awareness within, and he will become that which i wish he was now. i keep in mind that my own heart has flattened, somehow this depression has drained the joy out of my own self. and i do not wish for it to remain this way. so the only choice is the right one, the right one for me. the one my intuition has been yelling into my left ear. the one a psychic reaffirmed to me in a reading. all the cards that i draw, the poems that i read, all the signs say, this, this is the right one. out of great sorrow comes great change.