the quiet of 630am inspires. then 7am traffic begins with quiet whispers of cars, the horn section tuning up, the first boil of the morning beckons. i lay wrapped in my sheets and blankets, the sun reaching in thru the eastern window. i play the imagination game; i am in a cabin, the scent of wood and earth like a lovely cologne in the room. the birds, boisterous and cheery sing their calls, my ears are tickled. sunlight sifts thru branches and trees. forest earth padding quiets every step, my bare feet delighting in the small sticks, pine needles, and soft earth. 

joy joy joy, and rest.

i can feel the treatments that dr fran is giving to me are really connecting me back together. it started with a jolt from my new zealand friend and chinese medicine master - she got me in two spots that reconnect the spirit back into the body...i was getting way too floaty. it has to do with my metal element - this is one of the 5 elements in daoist/natural way of things. metal represents the mountains, the inspiration, the spirit, the heavens, this is metal. gold, treasure, lines that ascend, gems...i was so in excess that my daily life floated above my body. but we are born into a body and so it is good to live in it, nurture it... take care of the body.

it's easier now for me to connect all the thought, the theory and the divine with my daily life, which before seemed so far, so out of reach. now i can fathom the actual action of things, and as long as i am well rested, the doing comes easy. my legs still feel at times at the end of the day as though they cannot support my weight; this is the disconnect between torso and legs, and thru the work i'm doing with fran, and with myself, i am grounding down.

last night while singing jazz at east shore with my quartet, i was reminded by my arms of something fran commented about me on stage with junglecat (my other band). she said that all my energy is lingering in my chest, throat, diaphram and core, but isn't going down the legs. it's all tight up in my torso. so while moreno was solo-ing last night i remembered to think about my feet, about the way they feel, the heels, the ground below them (or first my high heel shoes oy) and honestly, today when i woke up, for the first time, i didn't feel completely wrecked after my sunday night gig. i actually functioned today - went to rehearse with junglecat. it is only now that i am truly looking forward to my thai oil massage that i am about to go for. my legs and low back are tired.

the work continues tomorrow with another 2.5 hour class with max strom. he's visiting from the US - the most influential teacher i have in my yoga practice. he is being peace. his teaching is clear, concise, kind and filled with amazing knowledge. (www.maxstrom.com) he's living up in oregon i think but comes over here to do trainings and workshops (thru www.yogayard.com, where i teach in beijing).

regular practice for me is vital to grounding down thru my legs. this continual reconnection is really helping me to feel capable of things i am dreaming about. i am able to do.

how are you?

mindful breath, peace and love for your journey...enjoy!

it starts out with grumbles and lower darker clouds
creeping over the megatropolis
it takes its time, slowly transforming building cranes into figures of the fog
back drop for the sha bang to come along
we are all hussling around to get good seats
as the storm rolls grandly into town

the lights begin, flashes the paparazi ala mother nature
the action rushes in wind swoops our hair blowing back or into our faces
excitement
a few more bursts of drums and then the pang shabang slowly hisses
the cleanse
water sounds everywhere trickling tickling down glass window panes
the hard water has thrust
the agitated clouds walk forward
and leave behind the peaceful soft water tinkling like pianists on astral keyboards
grumbles of the thing that just overed itself on us
we are quiet and blessed
until the big city full of people who don't know how to drive let alone drive in the rain inspire honking only like a big city traffic enlarged horn section could

ah there, minutes pass and people park their cars
the quiet hush of the after storm is here

breathe in this freshness until you smell of it!

love

i basked in the moon on the alter of the sun tonight. standing with hands diamonded at my dantian, i stood in love with the moon. she's yellow and a crazy aura was spinning around her, crazy and dispersing, spinning and turning around the big beige body.

a few times my vision was stigmatising and the moon was dancing in a feverish way. i feel spirit around me. kerena, goddess ninja, says she feels total sadness and total love at the same time. i begin to move. tian ren he yi.  my feet walk in a wide circle, ams open and cross, glide and bevel in to another great circle. left to right i switch directions, carving open a big holding space for us to bask some more.

it was like going swimming, really.

the moon is filled with our heart's greatest love, and she is charged with our hopes and fears as well. what we look to for her in miracles can be found within our selves, our deepest knowing. because we all know the truth, deep down inside. it is what ultimately guides us thru life...how we end up in the lessons that we are here to learn...

why is it so difficult to understand that we are not living according to natural law?
that we (human race) disrespect our mother earth so severely and get surprised when she bucks us off her back?

so many things that we do because society has deemed it "acceptable" but none of us really saying NO, i don't think this is right, because no THINKING is taking place.

there was an experiment done a while back where a man in a white coat (an actor) stood over a volunteer and told the volunteer to push the button. everytime the button was pushed an audible yelp was heard from another room, but no matter, that person would be fine, despite the heart trouble they were having, just keep pushing the button, the "doctor" said. the majority of volunteers continued to push the button despite the cries of pain from another room.

our inability to do what is naturally "right" is severely impaired.

disposable...pens. plates. cups. "silver" ware. pads, diapers...etc. look around in your home, in your office. how much of what you are using is disposed of?  where do you reckon it goes when you dispose of it? does it strike a disharmonic chord in your body? probably not. never thought about it before.  what is that blue stuff you put in your toilet bowl? is it necessary? does it contribute to a clean environment? does it respect the natural law of things?

there is a portion of society that is living far beyond the poverty level. this portion of society that can afford not to waste. not to dispose. to do something that is quite natural. most people who live on the poverty line, well, they are living the way they have been living for hundreds of years because they don't have a choice.

those of us that are educated, that are caught up in our daily dramas...there are ways to continue living peacefullly, comfortably - naturally.

have you thought about it?

seriously.

in china, where i am living, people are superstitious about the earthquake that just killed 10,000 people in minutes, rendering 60,000 people missing. they say that because olympics are here, that china is being punished for taking so much resource to make this a successful event.  that's bs. this is a world wide issue.

mother earth is reacting to human disrespect for the natural law.

we all know the natural law even if we've never lived it. it's inside, deep inside our core, and harmonizes with our energy, with all energy.

quiet down your ego mind dear ones. LISTEN. ACT. BE NATURAL

we scramble in and out of each other's lives. it's like a human hive we've coated the globe with honeycomb..
and yet we can all feel we are alone in this chaotic drone of billions of unique rhythms of heartbeats
in this still room
i am drawn to so much
in this fog white
i appear for you tonight
you are invited for a viewing
a sit in at the royal red
queens await your kind strange eyes
our magic is finely tuned and
extremely
wide

do not wonder about this castle
with open baboon mouth
live with me for the next 5 hours
and wonder will transform to love

goodness befalls those who live in it
not those who hope for it

moving... an uprooting of the physical home, earth element...the center of all the other elements. without its rootedness, i feel filled with helium, as though i float about the reality i am living down below on the ground. moving is traumatic, especially when unprepared. i've adopted a wider vantage point which makes all my experiences less shocking or shaking. i know that this chaotic period will pass, and i will be so grounded in my life, such intimate friends with my truth, that i will have much goodness to inspire with. i am in "pause pause" mode. frances, my former and soon to be roommate told me that in between tasks, to pause, pause, to allow my weakened back muscles rest easy. i am laying with my red rubber hot lover, my hot water bottle. we've been intimate for at least a year, mainly in the past 3 months really going at it. tomorrow morning the movers come at 8am, drifting into our lives like a wave of short men; they wash into the rooms, gather for a pause, and then flow out, carrying frances and my things off to a new home in the sky. it is the brightest pink red building i've ever seen...talk about moving into a castle. it's a grand thing. i look forward to jam sessions and deck parties, good conversations and amazing experiences in this home, and while i'm traveling around europe singing my self silly. i've got a great jazz demo now, 3 original pieces from quattrology. i'll be installing them on some website soon, i'll keep you posted. very nice things happening. peace all. send goodness my way :) i need a push ; ) a soft warm southerly to extend its arms in offerings of goodness and ease.

knowledge, experience, practicing have been mixing in a large jess goddess pot.
thickened goodness godliness is inspiring a flow
direction
i pour this into my jess mold, casting a more fortified goodness filled god in human form

all the intentions that i have rolled around in my brain, heart, mouth, are now blooming.
i am moving in to the castle in the sky, riveting red fifteenth floor flags the eyes
i stand at the mount of my jessdom
reality, love, peace

i no longer wish to sommersalt in the human worry traps that trip my goddess up
i envsion length
 stretching
expanding,
healthfilled
softening

and i will embrace all goodness
in accordance to my truth
i am embracing all goodness
in accordance to my truth
in allegiance to nothing
except love

welcome to my newest reality...may it spread like the sun's light soften like the moon's glow

in my travels to new zealand, i found myself in the arms of nature. after many months of not seeing more than 10 stars (on a good night) in beijing, i saw the uncountable skies speckled by the universe's breath. in the midst of such a natural sky, without the pollution of light, it was hard to believe that this isn't a site that i could see every night.

we keep the lights on due to fear. we continue to "golly gump" our world into a further mess (golly gump swallowed a fly, then a bird to catch the fly, then a cat to catch the bird etc..). corporate interests continue to invade our government, when the world should be governed by what is "right" for humanity. humans don't seem to be a part of the government. money has taken over, and survival is out of balance. it isn't hopeless however deep your apathy may flow in your hearts. in chinese medicine it's about treating the whole, not just a symptom. instead of looking at every individual problem we face in this present moment, why not look at how to rebalance, and let the natural flow return to the body of humanity. this begins with each of us. with our breath, we magically become present, awake, aware.

by disengaging ourselves from the seemingly unstoppable flow, we also disengage from being a part of the negative flow.  the flow then ebbs, because no one is participating as more and more people disengage from it.

we are all in control, always creating our reality by the choices that we make. if we choose to do nothing, it is still a choice, and it crafts reality. doing something can be as small as disengaging from the nagging negative thoughts that present themselves in our daily lives. choose peace instead. for example, angry thought comes. instead of engaging it, getting more angry, repeat in your mind or say it outloud, "i choose peace instead." the body will respond, and after awhile, the nagging angry thought won't come back, because you've transformed that energy into peace. into noticing the smile on the face of your friend or your child, the sunlight coming thru your window as you wake. perspective change, balance change. it's intoxicating and valuable, as well as contagious. your smile or your grimace will affect another. do you want your energy to affect people positively or negatively? YOU CHOOSE.

slowly slowly, as we move thru these personal changes (because YOU can only change yourself), the world's conscious collective rings on a higher more positive vibe. the people in power are eventually affected, or positively people come to power, and the world is once again governed by positivity, and humanity is more natural and in balance.

i wrote this rap for a new song i'm working on. hope you like it. peace, smiles and love. JESS

body mind soul resonates a vibe
when it's balanced then the vibe begins to harmonize
feel the rhythm of your spirit as you recognize
how the god within us all can really energize
as a people we are stained by our humanity
how can color make a difference in how we see
there's a higher way of thinking between you and me
that brings peace and patience to reality

you say what can i do? what?
choice is always available to you
one extreme to another is a bother we can balance it out with truth
breathe and

do somethin do somethin
you can do somethin
better than nothin
let's all do somethin

let's say everyone's a source so it starts with me
say "it starts with me" (it starts with me)
take deep breaths and calm yourself down
you're not alone even if nobody's around
you create your reality with every choice you see
disengage from the current of the negativity
stop blaming stop judging start breathing start nudging
your life is the present be present and you can

do somethin do something
you can do something
better than nothing
let's all do something

i hurry up the gumption as it comes into me, because i know it so easily leaks back out...my lower back and sacrum are sore, they pulse while i lay flat on my back with my head on a book, thankful that i have a laptop to type on. my creativity has dwindled with this spinal sensitivity and dis ease.

my head is in a cloudy wave at the moment, my mind preoccupied by awareness of unwellness in the body, i converse in spurts and lose my concentration like some nimble minded woman. i know that clarity is coming, and that this patience i must provide to myself is a form of nurturing. i notice how quickly time is zipping by. pshew! a week blasts by, sswishh! a new moon opens up in the night sky. i am learning that time is really a non-existent...not paying attention or having focus in these foggy states of mind is all contribution to the speed of time. i absolutely can't comprehend how i existed at an 8-9 hour per day job 5 days a week, and still got things done in my spare time (taught yoga, sang 3 nights a week, had friends).

this leads me to believe that the simple rules and regiments of a day could be very helpful to me. i know all the answers lie within my muddled out of focus body...i know that when i putz around in the morning with no schedule time flies and all of sudden it's noon and i haven't showered or eaten...i know what doesn't work. i also know that some mornings, that's necessary to veg. i'm not talking about stressing me out with rules, but rather, introducing ways to create space for creation thru some sort of daily habitual practice. in essence, grounding.

this is the earth element...this is the center of the 5 elements, and it feeds all elements. with out earth, there can be no nourishment, and therefore we cannot exist. so waking, eating, meditating, following the day in a natural way can assist the body to be more at ease...which is what i need in my life. i am too floating...

my wise friend dalida said that it takes 21 days to form a habit, so it's starting with one thing and introducing it into the daily regime. it could be as simple as brushing my teeth with my other hand, or eating breakfast first thing when i wake, meditating or something else i can handle...

to be continued...